Day 176
Saturday, February 25, 2017
So, I've given a lot of thought to this blog. I think I'm going to keep it. I might not keep it everyday, but I have so many thoughts running through my head at any given time, I'd just like a place to put them. By keeping a blog, I hold myself accountable because I know that a handful of people will read it. Not to mention, I'm hoping that by including my own experiences and thoughts here, my own children will someday read this and learn from in case I'm not here to tell them myself. Who knows, maybe Squeak will want to look at the books I read and read them herself one day...
People: No people interactions today (so far), although last night was a lovely bookclub with some of my favorite peeps. A movie in fancy reclining seats to see Hidden Figures. Then over to Bertucci's (YUM) for pizza and mule. I had never had a mule before and was pleasantly surprised. Will have to try making them at home this summer.
Places/Activities: Mostly just cleaning and catch up today.
Good Deeds: Yesterday we dropped off our old and used lithium ion batteries to Home Depot for recycling. Make sure you take your batteries to a hardware to be recycled. Not only are they super harmful to our Earth, but you definitely do NOT want a small child to get a hold of one and accidentally eat it. They are LETHAL. I try and get them out of the house as soon as they are used up and come out of whatever toy or tool they were in previously.
Chores: I pretty much cleaned everything under our roof today ;)
Reading: I'm up to book 55 out of my 100 book goal. So far, I'm right on track to reach my goal by the time I go back to work in the Fall! I just started Florence! Foster!! Jenkins!!! The Life of the World's Worst Opera Singer by Darryl W. Bullock. Guess what movie D and I are watching tonight? I'll let you know which was better!
Random Thoughts:
Yesterday I was thinking about all the times in my life that I attempted something, but then failed. Or trusted someone, but then was hurt. Or loved someone, who in one way or another was then lost. For the most part, we as humans have an innate desire for survival. So, no matter what life throws at as, we will get up and move on - even when it seems like it's impossible. I've learned quite a bit so far during my journey as a stay at home mom. And while I think I am a better mama to my kids when I am working, I wouldn't change the choice I made to stay at home with my kids for this year. Here's what I've learned so far.
1. I Was WRONG.
When I was a working parent, I would think to myself, "If I could be a stay at home mom, I would have SO much fun! I would teach my kids stuff ALL the time! I would get so much stuff DONE!" This is what is called a "fantasy." A case of "the grass is always greener" dialogue that I would tell myself when I was at work and would rather be home with the kids - envying my SAHM friends who were taking their kids out on playdates, etc. Being a stay at home parent is SO HARD. Way harder than I could have imagined. As a SAH, you are now the singular caregiver for your child during working hours. It's your JOB. Which means, that as much as you would love to clean or cook while you are taking care of your kids, depending on their needs and wants for the day, you might be lucky enough to find the time to throw something in the microwave and toss in a load of laundry. Your house is going to be perpetually messy because there will always be a kid (or in my case 3) in it. You'll spend a lot of time cleaning up. Thankfully I have a really helpful 4 year old who helps clean up messes made by her little brother and sister.
2. It's lonely.
If you enjoy interacting with coworkers on a daily basis, the lack of adults in your life while being a SAH could possibly make you go insane. I love having summers off as a teacher, but that was different, because most of my friends are also teachers and have off too. Getting together is much easier in the summer. But being a SAH in the colder months while everyone is at work... that's a challenge. No one but other SAH moms to see - which is great... IF your schedules are the same. But with having a kid in preschool that needs to be picked up at lunchtime every day... this can be a challenge. Add in the fact that I still have two kids that need an afternoon nap daily, and you now have very limited time to do things. I try and get the twins out to storytimes and shopping and exercise (for me) once a week, but trying to talk to someone else while having them along is like trying to have a conversation on a cell phone at a Metallica concert. It's not gonna happen.
3. Me time is CRUCIAL.
I've been reading, drawing, writing, etc. Just for myself. Any chance I get. Because it's necessary to have time to myself so that I can recharge and be a mom again. They get plenty of love, books, snuggles, cuddles, and undivided attention all day long. Being able to step away, sit in the recliner, and focus on myself for a little while is necessary. It's also nice to have a family member or sitter come over from time to time so that I can run to a doctor appointment. Never in my life did I think I would enjoy going to the dentist. I'm not a fan of dental exams, but getting that time out of the house without having a small child (or two) hang on my leg and try and pull off my pants all while screaming and crying... it's blissful. It doesn't matter if I'm going to the library to get a book, sit quietly outside, or go get my teeth cleaned. It's time away for just me, and it's amazing.
4. Mom guilt doesn't end. Ever.
When I worked, I felt guilty for leaving them. Now as a SAH, I feel guilty for being home. Because I am with them, they are missing out on having interactions with other kids and making friends at a daycare. Because I have more than one kid, I wonder if I am giving enough attention to all of them. It's hard to make sure you aren't playing favorites. Honestly, I couldn't pick a favorite - they are all fabulous, but as soon as I pick one up to read to, or grab a quick cuddle, the other gets jealous. It's REALLY hard to keep everyone happy!
Recipes: Nothing to note today.
Saturday, February 25, 2017
So, I've given a lot of thought to this blog. I think I'm going to keep it. I might not keep it everyday, but I have so many thoughts running through my head at any given time, I'd just like a place to put them. By keeping a blog, I hold myself accountable because I know that a handful of people will read it. Not to mention, I'm hoping that by including my own experiences and thoughts here, my own children will someday read this and learn from in case I'm not here to tell them myself. Who knows, maybe Squeak will want to look at the books I read and read them herself one day...
 |
| Sibling sweetness |
People: No people interactions today (so far), although last night was a lovely bookclub with some of my favorite peeps. A movie in fancy reclining seats to see Hidden Figures. Then over to Bertucci's (YUM) for pizza and mule. I had never had a mule before and was pleasantly surprised. Will have to try making them at home this summer.
Places/Activities: Mostly just cleaning and catch up today.
Good Deeds: Yesterday we dropped off our old and used lithium ion batteries to Home Depot for recycling. Make sure you take your batteries to a hardware to be recycled. Not only are they super harmful to our Earth, but you definitely do NOT want a small child to get a hold of one and accidentally eat it. They are LETHAL. I try and get them out of the house as soon as they are used up and come out of whatever toy or tool they were in previously.
Chores: I pretty much cleaned everything under our roof today ;)
Reading: I'm up to book 55 out of my 100 book goal. So far, I'm right on track to reach my goal by the time I go back to work in the Fall! I just started Florence! Foster!! Jenkins!!! The Life of the World's Worst Opera Singer by Darryl W. Bullock. Guess what movie D and I are watching tonight? I'll let you know which was better!
Random Thoughts:
Yesterday I was thinking about all the times in my life that I attempted something, but then failed. Or trusted someone, but then was hurt. Or loved someone, who in one way or another was then lost. For the most part, we as humans have an innate desire for survival. So, no matter what life throws at as, we will get up and move on - even when it seems like it's impossible. I've learned quite a bit so far during my journey as a stay at home mom. And while I think I am a better mama to my kids when I am working, I wouldn't change the choice I made to stay at home with my kids for this year. Here's what I've learned so far.
1. I Was WRONG.
When I was a working parent, I would think to myself, "If I could be a stay at home mom, I would have SO much fun! I would teach my kids stuff ALL the time! I would get so much stuff DONE!" This is what is called a "fantasy." A case of "the grass is always greener" dialogue that I would tell myself when I was at work and would rather be home with the kids - envying my SAHM friends who were taking their kids out on playdates, etc. Being a stay at home parent is SO HARD. Way harder than I could have imagined. As a SAH, you are now the singular caregiver for your child during working hours. It's your JOB. Which means, that as much as you would love to clean or cook while you are taking care of your kids, depending on their needs and wants for the day, you might be lucky enough to find the time to throw something in the microwave and toss in a load of laundry. Your house is going to be perpetually messy because there will always be a kid (or in my case 3) in it. You'll spend a lot of time cleaning up. Thankfully I have a really helpful 4 year old who helps clean up messes made by her little brother and sister.
2. It's lonely.
If you enjoy interacting with coworkers on a daily basis, the lack of adults in your life while being a SAH could possibly make you go insane. I love having summers off as a teacher, but that was different, because most of my friends are also teachers and have off too. Getting together is much easier in the summer. But being a SAH in the colder months while everyone is at work... that's a challenge. No one but other SAH moms to see - which is great... IF your schedules are the same. But with having a kid in preschool that needs to be picked up at lunchtime every day... this can be a challenge. Add in the fact that I still have two kids that need an afternoon nap daily, and you now have very limited time to do things. I try and get the twins out to storytimes and shopping and exercise (for me) once a week, but trying to talk to someone else while having them along is like trying to have a conversation on a cell phone at a Metallica concert. It's not gonna happen.
3. Me time is CRUCIAL.
I've been reading, drawing, writing, etc. Just for myself. Any chance I get. Because it's necessary to have time to myself so that I can recharge and be a mom again. They get plenty of love, books, snuggles, cuddles, and undivided attention all day long. Being able to step away, sit in the recliner, and focus on myself for a little while is necessary. It's also nice to have a family member or sitter come over from time to time so that I can run to a doctor appointment. Never in my life did I think I would enjoy going to the dentist. I'm not a fan of dental exams, but getting that time out of the house without having a small child (or two) hang on my leg and try and pull off my pants all while screaming and crying... it's blissful. It doesn't matter if I'm going to the library to get a book, sit quietly outside, or go get my teeth cleaned. It's time away for just me, and it's amazing.
4. Mom guilt doesn't end. Ever.
When I worked, I felt guilty for leaving them. Now as a SAH, I feel guilty for being home. Because I am with them, they are missing out on having interactions with other kids and making friends at a daycare. Because I have more than one kid, I wonder if I am giving enough attention to all of them. It's hard to make sure you aren't playing favorites. Honestly, I couldn't pick a favorite - they are all fabulous, but as soon as I pick one up to read to, or grab a quick cuddle, the other gets jealous. It's REALLY hard to keep everyone happy!
Recipes: Nothing to note today.
